The Worst Day
by Red Bess Rackham
Summary: George thinks about the worst days of his life and knows that this happy occasion is one of them. Angsty look at George during the 100th episode. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: ***laughs hysterically*

**A/n:** So I wrote this pretty well within an hour of viewing the 100th episode. It is the fourth one-shot in my unofficial and unrelated _How a Heart Breaks_ series (unrelated to each other, just similarly themed and though I like the song, they also have nothing to do with song _This is How a Heart Breaks_ by Rob Thomas). Angst ahead!

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_This is how a heart breaks._

He's had a lot of bad days in his lifetime – everybody has. He's also had a lot of days that he would consider to be the worst of his life.

There was a day way back in early elementary school when he was supposed to do an easy math problem in front of the class. He completely froze and got called names as he stood there holding a piece of chalk to the chalkboard, his face burning. He'd gone home in tears, devastated that he'd failed in front of everyone like that. He thought then that it was the worst day of his life.

In high school, he had a crush on a pretty and popular girl. He'd had an honest chance with her too, because she seemed to genuinely like him back. Unfortunately for the both of them, he'd been so incredibly nervous trying to ask her out one day in the cafeteria at lunch, that he started hand-talking while holding a tray of food. The food spilt everywhere, all over him and all over the girl who didn't think much of him after that. People laughed and pointed and he nearly died of humiliation. It took weeks to recover from the incident among the various social circles at school. For a long time, he was sure that had to be the worst day of his life.

Being an intern at Seattle Grace presented both wonderful and terrible days, and he'd had a lot of both. The day he earned the nickname 007 in his first year of his internship certainly stuck out as one of the worst, as well as the day he failed his intern exam.

The worst day of his life to date, he'd decided not too long ago, had to be the day his dad had died. It was much worse than the high school humiliation or failing his exam or anything else he could think of combined. He really didn't think anything could ever come close to being worse than that day. That included losing friendships, losing patients and losing a marriage.

Except this.

This, he's quite sure, is one of the worst days of his life – it's definitely top two.

His stomach has been churning since he found out the news. He hasn't said a word – aside from the obligatory congratulations, of course – and forces a smile because it's his best friend, so why _wouldn't_ he be happy? The fact that he realizes she's moved on – moved back? – and he feels like he hasn't moved at all, is blatantly obvious to anyone who would take a moment to notice. No one does – no one notices anything about him anymore.

For the most part, he's able to stay contained and calm. He lost four patients under his hands today and on a regular day, that's enough to make him feel horrible. Now there's this on top it. But he's gotten really good at staying contained.

The doors open and he forces himself to turn and look. The wind gets absolutely knocked out him in an instant and he forgets to breathe as he sees her in that sparkling white dress, absolutely beaming. His mind flashes and for just a split second, he sees himself on the other end of the aisle by the priest and she's walking to him instead of someone else… and then it's gone and his breath comes back and she takes a few more weak steps forward.

As she falters, he doesn't hesitate. He's by her side immediately. Even though they've been distant lately, he's still her person. Even though she's marrying someone else, he still loves her. And even though he's dying and screaming inside as he walks with her, he still does and he remains smiling and contained, because it's not about him and what he wants, and because this is what _she_ wants.

She holds his hand tight in a silent wave of gratitude and appreciation and she smiles warmly at him. He knows she still cares, that she always will. His real smile – one that comes from his heart and is not a contained, forced smile – is only for her. He wants more than anything for her to be happy, even if it means he will not be with her. So he places her hand in the hand of the man she's marrying, the man that is not him. He gives the man a nod – _Take care of her, you know how much I love her_ – and as he turns away to take his seat again, he can't believe any of this is really happening.

_How did we get here? How could this happen? How do I move from here? How can I…? How…?_

It's like a terrible, bittersweet dream he can't get out of. He watches them say their vows, his chest bursting with pain. He swallows a thousand words rising and fighting inside him when the priest asks the traditional, "Speak now or forever hold your peace" question. When he gets teary-eyed towards the end, others smile softly at him, thinking he's so sweet for caring so much about his friend. He looks on as she kisses her new husband and knows that this _must_ be the worst day of his life.

This _is how a heart breaks…_

Only when he comes home to his dark, empty apartment after the reception and he's completely alone does he let go and cry for what he has lost.

_This is how a heart breaks._

**-end­**-

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**A/n: **Suffice to say I didn't really enjoy the 100th episode for some reason. ;) Thanks for reading, reviews are like oxygen.


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